Gaslighting can cause serious harm to a person, and it’s important to recognize the signs when someone is trying to manipulate your thoughts and feelings. In this post, we’ve outlined 18 phrases you can use if you think someone is trying to gaslight you.
I Disagree with Your Assessment
There are many forms of gaslighting, but Medical News Today claims that the most common are using negative stereotypes against individuals, belittling them, or refusing to take responsibility. If you notice these behaviors, you should directly assert your disagreement, ensuring that your gaslighter’s assertions are being challenged.
I Trust My Perceptions and Experiences
If you feel that someone is attempting to gaslight you, affirming your experience and perception can significantly help you retain trust in yourself and your current state of mind. Using this phrase can help you do that, as it shuts down any attempts to distort your reality.
Can You Explain Why You Believe That’s True?
Many psychologists say that when someone is upset and lashes out, asking them a relevant question forces them to look within themselves. In this case, asking a gaslighter why they believe what they say prompts them to articulate their reasoning, helping to reveal flaws in their logic.
We Remember Things Differently
Everyone is different, so it’s important to remember that the person gaslighting you may recall events much differently than how you have. By explaining this, it helps to maintain your stance and avoid manipulation, without invalidating your awareness or observation of a situation.
This Conversation Is No Longer Productive
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to set boundaries when dealing with individuals with manipulative traits. They may be acting disrespectfully, but when you set boundaries and call it quits, you’re preserving your integrity and mental abilities while stopping them from continuing the manipulation.
I’m Willing to Agree to Disagree
Disagreements aren’t always due to gaslighting – two people having a heated discussion can’t always reach a mutual conclusion. Sometimes, agreeing to disagree is the best solution, helping to de-escalate a conflict while respecting others’ opinions. If they can’t realize that, then it’s a clear sign of gaslighting.
Let’s Stick to the Facts
Dealing with people who gaslight you isn’t easy, especially when you are not sure how to face it at the moment. However, according to Healthline, you can take back control with the right response. One key example is “Let’s stick to the facts.” This encourages objectivity, whilst derailing any attempts at gaslighting or manipulation.
I Feel Dismissed When You Say That
Being open and honest is beneficial in almost every situation, including when dealing with someone who is trivializing what you’re saying or discrediting you. When you express how you feel honestly, it adds an emotional angle and lessens the impact of any type of manipulation.
I Won’t Be Spoken to in That Way
If you feel like a gaslighter is disregarding your boundaries in a manipulative manner, you should always assert this, letting them know that you don’t appreciate being spoken to in that way. This reinforces your self-respect whilst directly challenging the abuser’s behavior towards you.
That’s Not How I See It
This simple statement reasserts your viewpoint without negating the other person’s perspective. By expressing that you see things differently from them, you are showing them that there may be other perspectives to consider, prompting them to question their gaslighting behaviors in a healthy and constructive way.
Please Don’t Rewrite My Experience
Often, when you bring up a concern about their behavior, a gaslighter will do anything they can to divert the subject or make you believe that it never happened. If you notice this, call out their attempts to modify or change how you see things taking place, defending your memory and reality.
I Need a Moment to Process This
When confronted by a gaslighter, we often react negatively and impulsively. Instead, take a moment to process things and let the other party know that you are doing so. This gives both of you time to assess things more rationally, giving each other much-needed space to let things calm down.
I Know What I Heard/Saw/Felt
Affirming your sensory experience to the other person helps counter any efforts of theirs to make you doubt things. One of the main tactics gaslighters use is to try and discredit things. Combat this by bringing facts into the conversation, making it hard for them to tell you otherwise.
Let’s Bring a Third Party into This Conversation
If you are lucky enough to have a neutral friend or family member who can help clarify things, it is always advisable to do so. Make this suggestion, as it will help to soften the blow, lessen the impact of the gaslighter on you, and make them reassess their behavior.
I’m Speaking My Truth
By validating your perspective or experience of a situation, avoiding any attempts a gaslighter makes to manipulate you can be made much easier. Business Insider echoes this advice; gaslighters will try to win at any cost, but by reinstating this brilliant phrase, you take a firm stance on things.
Your Perspective Does Not Define My Reality
Another common gaslighting tactic is attempting to change the way you think things are. Good Housekeeping states that gaslighters make you feel like you made something up. Their reality may be different from yours, but they will try by all means to alter your perspective to fit theirs. Voicing this phrase can help to remind them that their perspective and their reality are two different things.
I Refuse to Question My Sanity
To reject any efforts by a gaslighter to make you doubt your judgment, use this phrase to take a powerful stance and reaffirm your position. Strength comes from knowing that you are not crazy just because they said so, and using these powerful words will assert this firmly.
Let’s Review the Evidence Together
When all else fails, suggest to a gaslighter that you review things amicably together. When you look at things from all angles and examine what’s been said or done, it can expose their manipulative tactics and reinstate the facts of the situation. Hopefully, this will help them see things differently.
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