20 Habits of Very Insecure People

Constantly Seeking Validation

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People who feel insecure often look for approval from others to feel good about themselves. They might constantly check in with friends or family about decisions, big or small, because they’re unsure of their own judgment. This habit can lead to a reliance on external validation rather than building self-confidence and trust in their own choices. It’s like they’re always waiting for a thumbs-up before they can feel okay about what they’re doing.

Overanalyzing Social Interactions

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Ever notice how some folks can’t stop dissecting every conversation or look they get? That’s a classic sign of insecurity. They replay interactions over and over, worrying about what they said or how they were perceived. This overthinking can create unnecessary stress and anxiety, often leading to misconceptions about others’ opinions or intentions.

Difficulty Making Decisions

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Insecure people often find it hard to make decisions, even about simple things. They might worry about making the wrong choice, so they get stuck in limbo, unable to decide. This indecision can make them appear flaky or unreliable, but really, they’re just scared of messing up and facing possible judgment.

Avoiding Eye Contact

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Not looking someone in the eye can be more than just shyness; it’s often a sign of feeling unworthy or anxious. People who are insecure might find sustained eye contact too intense or revealing, fearing it might expose their perceived flaws or lack of confidence.

Frequently Apologizing

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Saying sorry for every little thing, even when it’s not their fault, is a habit many insecure people have. They’re so worried about upsetting others or being a burden that they default to apologies. It’s like they’re always on edge, trying to smooth things over before there’s even a problem.

Comparing Themselves to Others

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It’s hard not to look at someone else’s life and wonder why yours isn’t as great, but insecure people do this a lot. They constantly measure their own worth against others, focusing on what they lack. This comparison game can erode self-esteem and ignore the unique qualities and achievements they do have.

Fear of Trying New Things

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Sticking to the same routine and avoiding new experiences can be a safe haven for someone feeling insecure. The thought of stepping out of their comfort zone brings up fears of failure or embarrassment. So, they hold back, missing out on growth opportunities and the chance to discover new passions.

Need for Control

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When someone feels insecure, they might try to control situations or people as a way to cope with their anxiety. It’s like they think if they can keep everything in check, nothing can go wrong. However, this need for control can strain relationships and prevent them from dealing with the root of their insecurities.

Struggle with Accepting Compliments

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For someone battling insecurities, accepting praise is no easy feat. They might brush off compliments or argue against them because they don’t truly believe they’re deserving. This struggle reflects their deep-seated doubts about their value and achievements.

Overly Defensive Behavior

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Insecure individuals can be quick to defend themselves, even when there’s no attack. They’re so used to feeling judged that they see criticism where there isn’t any. This defensiveness can make honest conversations difficult and hinder their ability to grow from constructive feedback.


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Striving to be perfect is often an attempt to cover up insecurities. If everything is flawless, they reason, then there’s no ground for criticism. But this pursuit of perfection is a double-edged sword, leading to burnout and a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction because nothing is ever truly perfect.

Social Withdrawal

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Pulling away from social situations is a common response for those feeling insecure. They might fear judgment or feel like they don’t belong, so they avoid interactions altogether. This withdrawal can lead to loneliness and reinforce the negative feelings they have about themselves.

Hesitation to Share Opinions

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Ever been in a group and noticed someone who never chimes in? They might be battling insecurities, scared their ideas will be shot down or laughed at. Keeping their thoughts to themselves is their way of staying safe, but it also keeps their voice unheard.

Obsessing Over Mistakes

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Everyone messes up, but insecure people can’t let go of their blunders. They beat themselves up over them, convinced these errors define their worth. This obsession can prevent them from moving forward and learning from their mistakes, trapping them in a cycle of negativity.

Reluctance to Trust Others

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When you’re feeling insecure, opening up and trusting others can feel like an insurmountable challenge. There’s always that nagging doubt that people might betray them or use their vulnerabilities against them. This lack of trust can lead to isolation and a failure to form deep, meaningful relationships.

Seeking Reassurance

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Needing constant reassurance is like needing a lifeline for someone insecure. They might frequently ask if everything’s okay or if they’re doing a good job because they need that external affirmation to quell their internal doubts. While it might provide a temporary boost, it doesn’t address their underlying lack of self-confidence.

Sensitive to Criticism

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Taking criticism personally is a common trait among the insecure. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to improve, they view it as an attack on their character. This sensitivity can make them resistant to feedback and hinder their personal and professional growth.

Low Self-Esteem

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At the core of many insecure behaviors is low self-esteem. Feeling unworthy or incapable can color every aspect of their lives, from their relationships to their ambitions. Building self-esteem is a crucial step in overcoming insecurity, but it’s often easier said than done.


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Sometimes, insecure people will go to great lengths to prove themselves, whether it’s by bragging, being overly aggressive, or taking on too much. They think if they can just show the world how capable they are, their insecurities will disappear. Unfortunately, this often leads to further stress and burnout.

Neglecting Personal Needs

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Putting others’ needs before their own is a habit many insecure people fall into. They might think that by being indispensable to others, they’ll finally feel valued. However, this neglect of their own needs can lead to resentment and a loss of self-identity, exacerbating feelings of insecurity.

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