18 Things to do When Someone Shows No Interest in You

When your feelings aren’t reciprocated, it can be hard to swallow. And while some people might tell you to ‘get over it’, sometimes it isn’t that simple, especially if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with the person. But there are things you can do to help yourself process these situations, and we’ve compiled 18 of them below.

Take a Step Back

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When something doesn’t go your way, it’s natural to get worked up, but your first response to a lack of interest should never be to lash out. Take a step back, breathe, and compose yourself before you respond. If this is somebody you value your current relationship with, you won’t want to blow it up with a split-second reaction.

Don’t Take it Personally

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Though somebody may reject or otherwise show no interest in you, it likely isn’t personal. You might think they’re saying something is wrong with you, but they might have other priorities they’re currently focusing on or be content with their own company. Polite rejection is not a personal insult, so don’t become defensive.

Have a Calm Conversation

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It’s okay to want to know more, but don’t angrily demand answers as to why someone doesn’t like you. If you wish to talk the matter out properly, aim to have a calm, rational conversation. Therapist Ellen Mishel recommends keeping your communication focused on the current situation for the best results.

Process Your Feelings

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Even though nobody is entitled to reciprocated feelings from anyone else, you’re allowed to feel upset if someone you like doesn’t feel the same way. It’s healthy to process your feelings of rejection; otherwise, you won’t be able to move on. Self-prioritization isn’t selfish; it’s integral for growth.

Put Some Space Between You

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As hard as it is, sometimes you need to get some distance while the dust settles. If you’ve declared interest in someone and they’ve rebuffed you, seeing them all the time will continue to rub salt in the wound. Communicate with them that you need some space, then use that time to clear your head and continue processing what happened.

Don’t Hyper-Fixate

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It’s normal to hyper-fixate on moments that hurt or embarrass you, but if you keep forcing yourself to think about that moment of rejection, it won’t stop bothering you. Remember that you’ve said what you said; the moment has passed, and it can’t be changed. If you continue to hyper-fixate on it, you’ll only torture yourself.

Put Your Phone Down

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Another common thing we all do when we’re yearning for someone is stalk them on social media, but this is a huge no-no! When someone shows no interest in you, it hurts, and seeing their face all the time, even if it’s just in photos, hurts more. Put your phone down, avoid social media, and don’t contact them.

Write a No-Send Letter

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Internally processing your emotions is one thing, but getting them out of your head is more cathartic. Coaching Leaders recommend the unsent letter, which allows you to put your feelings into words and address the person in question without them ever reading it. Externalizing the words also gives you more perspective when you read them back.

Mourn For the Relationship

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Once you confess new feelings and the other person doesn’t feel the same way, it will irreversibly change the dynamic of your relationship. It’s okay to mourn for the relationship that you had before, even if you don’t regret taking the shot, because it’s something significant that’s now changed in your life.

Remember That You’re Not Alone

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Having someone show no interest in you can feel devastating, but try to remember that you’re not the only one to experience it. Though it might not be very comforting when the feelings are still raw, try to remind yourself as often as possible that you’re not the first and won’t be the last person this happens to.

Keep Busy

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Keeping yourself occupied is the best way to take your mind off things. Throw yourself into your work and hobbies, or find new interests and ways to spend your time. Focus on enriching your life to help you realize that you can enjoy it even if that one person isn’t there. This will help you move on.

Cry if You Need to

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Bottling up your emotions won’t make them go away. In fact, the more you bottle things up, the more upset you’ll get, and eventually, your feelings will come to a head. BetterHelp teaches that crying releases feel-good hormones, so it’s a cathartic experience that can help relieve the stress of an emotional situation. If you need to cry, do it.

Get Out and About

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While a day or two spent under a blanket with a bucket of ice cream can make you feel good, it’s important not to isolate yourself indoors when you’re feeling down. Even just taking a walk each day and getting some fresh air is good for your emotional health. Make it part of your routine to get out and about.

Confide In Somebody Else

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It can be embarrassing to confess that you were rejected by somebody you really liked, but getting things off your chest to a third party is another good way to regulate your feelings. Not only can you express your sadness without involving the other person in the situation, but socializing will also help you get back into everyday life.

Buck Up Your Confidence

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Rejection knocks your confidence, but try to remember that you miss all the shots you don’t take. If you let this one miss dictate the rest of your life, you’ll self-sabotage. According to Psychology Today, confidence shows you’re self-aware and comfortable with yourself. And if you need to fake confidence until it’s there, go for it.

Open Yourself Up to New Prospects

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While it’s a good idea to process your feelings and grieve the loss of what could have been, you don’t need to stay stuck forever. While the person you liked may have shown no interest, that doesn’t mean someone else won’t. Open yourself up to new prospects and focus on finding the best match.

Chalk it Up to a Learning Experience

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If we never failed, how would we grow? It might sound cheesy, but every bridge you cross will shape your future and help you become the person you’re meant to be. Instead of focusing on the negative side of the experience, chalk it up to a learning experience and help yourself move on.

Get Excited About the Future

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One day, you’ll reflect on this rejection and realize you barely think about it anymore. If you want to get to that point, start getting excited about the future again. You’ve been through a rough time; now, you need to look forward to all the good times coming your way and understand that you deserve them.

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