17 Reasons Men Are Saying No to Dating

Dating is a highly complex game, and the competition is fierce, yet to make matters worse, it’s becoming increasingly common for men to say no to dating altogether. Why is this? Good question – here are 17 reasons why men are avoiding dating.

Not feeling worthy

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As mentioned earlier, self-esteem is a major issue in the modern male, and not feeling worthy will detract any man from dating. This has not been helped by social media and dating apps, where the competition is fierce, making this problem increasingly common.

Saving money

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Traditionally, men are expected to pick up the bill on a date, but this doesn’t fit the modern dating world. Most women recognize that such gender roles are antiquated, yet despite this, Time discovered that 85% of men still expect to pay on a first date. So, they could be avoiding dates to save money.

One-sided relationships

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Many men feel like they’re the ones putting all the effort into relationships. With an expectation for men to make the moves, it can often feel one-sided, with very little in return. This is enough to put men off the dating world with a feeling that efforts are not reciprocated.

Women are more independent

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Men enter relationships wanting to be needed, but in an age of independent women, where do they fit in? While it may seem old-fashioned, it is a biological instinct for men to want to protect and provide. So, if modern women can take care of themselves, men may be unsure how to contribute.

High standards

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In the 21st century, women have exceptionally high standards. When we can examine everyone’s relationship in a quick scroll, standards are overly inflated, but it is difficult to meet these expectations. Many men see this competition as too intense, choosing to opt-out.

Social media

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Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok were originally designed for sharing, but sadly, social media has morphed into a platform for showing off. Even worse, this includes showing off supposedly perfect relationships, warping them, and making it difficult to see their genuine side. Naturally, this puts off many men.

A dislike for dating apps

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Online dating is undeniably the most effective way to meet someone in this modern age, with Pew Research finding that 20% of couples now meet online. However, this is making it increasingly difficult to approach people ‘in the wild’, so if you’re not into dating apps, what do you do?

The relationship gap

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Research has found that most young men are single, while most young women are not. With an equal population, these numbers don’t add up, but this is because most young women are dating older men. Most single men are below the age of 30, while most single women are above the age of 40.

Hook up culture

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Although dating apps are one of the most popular places to meet people, they are more successful for hookups than real relationships. While this is great if you’re in search of a casual relationship, genuine connections are harder to find, and many men want more than just a one-night stand.

Emotional drama

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Relationships naturally include emotional drama, but when you can move on to the next relationship at the swipe of a finger, is it worth it? Sadly, relationships are so easy to replace in the modern world that many men wonder whether there is any point in putting up with the drama.

Comparison is the thief of joy

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Being simple is tough when you can easily compare your dating experiences with everyone online. Comparison is the leading killer of joy, and this totally applies to your dating journey. It’s terrible for self-esteem, preventing many men from having the confidence to date.


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According to Harvard Business Review, more than half of men expect their career to be a priority over a relationship. With a desire to succeed, entrepreneurs and businessmen are focusing on building their careers over building a family. When this is the primary focus, what’s the point of dating?


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Dating is now like a part-time job, and many men don’t have time for the commitment. It used to be fun and carefree, but now, dating is hard work. Furthermore, it’s also a major time commitment that takes a long time to see the reward, so naturally, many men are choosing to avoid it.


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Although it is typically men viewed as the cheaters, this is a negative prejudice as women cheat just as often. Men are also regular victims of cheating, and the feelings of inadequacy combined with the trust issues this causes are all it takes for a man to avoid dating altogether.

Too cautious

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The #MeToo movement was a major, positive shift for women’s rights, but it also scared off a lot of men. Many are now cautious about approaching women, fearing that they’ll be considered creepy. This has become a huge dilemma for men, who only have the alternative of not dating at all.

Sex is going out of fashion

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Thanks to apps like Tinder, sex is a dwindling interest, with Scientific American claiming that people are having less sex than ever. When hookups and adult content are easily accessible through apps, it all becomes less exciting, and there’s less need for men to waste time or energy for a quick thrill.


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Finally, modern dating is so fast-paced that rather than politely informing someone we’re no longer interested, we just ghost them instead. After being ghosted multiple times, it is quite common for men to decide it’s just not worth the hassle, simply leaving dating behind them.

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